Officers and Their Hats

I remember when I was in Panama, and how tall the hats that the soldiers of the once-upon-a Panamanian Defense Forces were. Lots of armies in Latin America had soldiers wear tall hats like this:

Is that a very tall you’re wearing, or are you just happy to see me?

But I’ve never seen any army whose generals and officers wear hats quite as giant as those of the Korean People’s Army. Those aren’t hats, they are giant soup bowls with brims. They are almost sombreros. I wish I knew where the style came from, because I don’t think Soviet Army officers wore giant mixing bowl hats. I don’t think anyone’s army officers wore hats quite that big.

“For those moments between the passage of the black 1977 Lincolns bearing giant portraits of the Late Dear Leader, we have hidden in our hats chips, salsa, guacamole, and gooey cheese-food product dip. Because the Great Successor must keep his strength up!”

One thought on “Officers and Their Hats

  1. It’s a function of Napoleon syndrome: shorter stature needs bigger accessories – particularly if they’re wielding swords and guns! I’ve noticed over the years that most gym rats, for instance, who are “bodybuilders”, either naturally or on ‘roids’, are below 5′ 10″ in height. Most are in the 5′ 7 – 8″ range!

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