Jenny Diski posts an amazing little essay over at The London Review of Books that deals a bit with what it means to be “difficult,” and to have that “look” which everyone seems to know and understand. Except you.
You were very difficult, they tell me. You are very difficult, they say. It turned out that ‘doing what I was told’ was not so much following orders, it was some innate understanding of how the world was supposed to work and conforming to it, so as not to make trouble. By the time someone had to tell me what to do, it was already too late. ‘Difficult’ was how the lay population described what the psychiatrists called ‘disturbed’.
Yep. That about describes it.